


I wish the only drug in me was you

by ShyyyVictoria



Series: Lashton One Shots [10]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Insomnia, M/M, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 16:59:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4968970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShyyyVictoria/pseuds/ShyyyVictoria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>luke is a strungout insomniac.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I wish the only drug in me was you

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted to write a one shot real quick but then this happened and its kinda shit.

sometimes, when ashton is dead asleep and the moon is high in the sky, illuminating the city, Luke will crawl out of the crisp white sheets of his and ashtons shared bed. he will take the backpack, the one ashton thinks he keeps for high school memories, out of the bottom of his closet and bring it to the bathroom with him, were he will sit on the floor and spill the contents across the floor. he will pick up the needle that rolled away with shaky hands and stare at it before throwing it back to the floor. he will turn his attention the the orange bottle of pills that landed upside down, and he will pick them up and dump three of them into his palm, then stare at the small, smooth white pills before choking them down dry. 

he will lean back against the cold bath tub staring down at the mess of needles, pills, and bags of white powder spread out across the cold floor and lose track of time. two minutes or two hours later, he unsure, can never remember, he will stagger to his feet and stumble to the sink and turn the water on. he will spend around 5 minutes watching the water run through his fingers before the sound of something beyond the bathroom door pulls him out of his stupor. he will make eye contact with himself in the mirror and smile maniacally at what he has become. he will talk to himself in hushed whispers. saying things like, 

"this is the best you."

"you are at your best like this."

"You could fly right now." 

that thought will make him think of the balcony in front of the bed ashton is asleep in. He will leave the bathroom, the mess still spilled across the floor, and drag himself to the balcony doors. when he tries to open them they will clank loudly, making him freeze before he realizes slowly that the doors are locked. the doors will swing open and slam into the wall on either side of them when he finally figures out how to get the lock open. the slight breeze from outside will feel like will make him feel like he breathing for the first time, he will smile so big that the corners of his mouth will hurt.   
the breeze will remind him that he can fly, he practically floated to the spot he was standing in now anyway. he will sit on the rail, his back to the world. from this position he can see ashton laying in the bed. the way his curls splay out around his head and how peaceful he looks.   
luke knows that he will never know that kind of peace. 

there's a honk from below. he moves his head to fast and almost loses his balance. the care below is stopped in the middle of the street as a person walks in front of it. it makes him laugh. once he starts he can't stop. he laughs and laughs until his sides hurt. he turns his body so his back faces his sleeping angel and his legs over the edge. he's still laughing, even though the care and person are both gone now.   
he watches the world, or what little bit of it that's awake, and he stops laughing. a sudden emptiness fills him. he can feel a headache coming on and nausea swirling in his gut. he can see a street walker on the corner, leaning on a stop sign. tears are building in his eyes, he can feel himself sway forward slightly. panic hits him like a mac truck as his grip on the rail tightens. 

he can hear the footsteps before the voice but he still jumps when ashton speaks. 

"luke. what are you doing." 

the tears have slid from his eyes and he doesn't know what to say. he doesn't know what he's doing. he doesn't remember how he got here. 

"i don't remember how i got here."

he can hear ashton step closer. 

"Just get back on this side luke. just lean back and i'll catch you, just fall backwards."

he stares forward, not looking at anything. the words don't register to him until after ashton has already wrapped his arms around him and pulled him backwards. the tears are still flowing as they lay on the ground, the both of them breathing heavy.   
ashton is mumbling a mantra of 'what the fuck luke, what the fuck luke'. 

he shakes his head, has himself convinced that it's clearer now, and scrambles to his feet. he rushes back inside the apartment, back into the bathroom and drops to the floor. he starts to throw the mess back into the backpack.   
he can feel the presence standing in the doorway but he ignores it. he hears them say 

"what are you doing luke?" 

the words sound sad and confused. he jumps in shock when one of the needles jabs him in the hand as he throws it into the bag.   
the presence falls to its knees behind him and hold him, restrains his hands, holding him close. he tries to get away, screams things

"no, no, no. i have to clean this up before ashton sees. i have to. let me fucking go."

he can feel the wetness on the back of his neck. he cant stop screaming. 

"ashton can't see this. he can't know how worthless i have become. you don't understand. you don't." 

he doesn't know when he stopped screaming. or when he got back in the bed. He did know that the sun was coming up. and that ashton was holding him so so close. and that he would never know sleep unless it was permanent.

**Author's Note:**

> what do you think about this?   
> feel free to send me prompts on   
> twitter- BandsForBabes  
> or   
> Tumblr- bandsaxdbabes


End file.
